God's Timing

This says it all.  It is so hard, but I do believe God has a plan and I know his timing will be perfect, but its hard....

My appt with Dr Jarrett went great!  Let me tell you, this guy doesn't mess around.   Dr Jarrett, Brett and I have chosen to try one more IUI.  Yes I already had two and yes neither one of them took, but we are going to try one more time.  I will be going back on birth control, I know that may sound funny and sounds like it defeats the purpose, but this will help the doctor know exactly where in my cycle I am.  I have to start the birth control on day one of my period, which could be any day now (TMI?? :))  I will call the office on day two to get further instructions.  If my ovaries do what the doctor wants to do, we will continue with the IUI, if not then we will abort the mission like last time and try IVF.  The IVF will hopefully take place in June. 

We are very excited, nervous and stressed.  These procedures are not covered by insurance.  Everything has to be payed out of pocket and up front.  The IUIs are affordable.  We hope,  pray and beg that this will work, because we can afford them, (kind of harsh, but I'm being honest).  As for the IVF, if it comes down to that,  we pray that we will be able to figure things out.  This procedure is thousands of dollars.  We want a child so badly.  We have dreamed of this our whole lives, but we have to be realistic as well.  We want to be able to have a child and provide for our child without being in MAJOR debt. 

We have so much love to give.   It comes down to God.  Will it be a child of our own, or is there a child out there that needs us more?