Continuation

Sorry that I left you in such suspense :) I was going to say that my weeks have been very busy, but that's a lame excuse.  I was just flat out lazy these past few weeks, with an exception of this past week.   This past week has been a difficult week with the passing of Brett's Grandmother unexpectedly.  

I couldn't help but think on how much I would have loved to give Grandma another Great Grandchild.  She currently has one and I know she was hoping for more.  While I know this is out of my hands, it still makes me sad that I wasn't able to give that gift to her.  I know how much she enjoyed her Grandchildren and how important family was to her.  I just wish we could have had a little more time.  

Time is such a difficult thing when you are trying to get pregnant.  Every month that goes by, is another month that it didn't work.   You have to wait another month and see what happens.  Before you know it, I'm another year older.   I couldn't help but think, are my eggs still good, do I still have eggs, and how long is it going to be before I can have a child?    

When I came down to South Bend, I had no idea that God was leading me to two awesome doctors.  I went to see Dr Shaw for my annual check up.  I spoke to him about my difficulties and we were able to set up a game plan.  I had a laparoscopy last March.  We found that I had a little endometriosis, which he burned off, and I also had a large cyst on my fallopian tube, which was removed.  Blood work also showed that my thyroid was off,  so I am on medication for that.  I was told to "try" for six months, if nothing happened, then see a specialist.   As we all know, nothing happened and God placed me in the hands of Dr Jarrett. 

Brett and I met with Dr Jarrett in October.  Together we came up with a plan of action.  I was to go back on birth control for one month.  What he wanted was all the hormones from the birth control to be in my system.  He also wanted to be sure that I had a full 28 day cycle.  On the next cycle (day one is the first day of your period) day 6-8 I had a pill to take.  On day 8-10 I had a shot that I gave myself in the stomach (Its not as bad as it sounds).   On day 12 I was to have an ultrasound and see how large my follicles were. 

Leading up to this ultrasound I was super excited.  I felt great and was pretty confident that I was going to have my first IUI with Dr Jarrett.  I drove down to Indy for my ultrasound the week of Thanksgiving and found only one follicle that was measuring about 6mm.   (We want 3-5 follicles measuring at about 15mm).  I was there for about 20 minutes and sent on my way very disappointed.  I got a phone call later that day that we were going to increase the dosage on my shot and have another ultrasound the following week.  The next week I went in for the ultrasound and found that I had 16 follicles and they were measuring about 12mm! I was sooo excited! I thought Dr Jarrett would be also be excited about this.  I had never had that many follicles, and the size was great too.  What I found out was, that this was way too many.  Dr Jarrett didn't want me to become the next OctoMom :)  He wasn't about to put me in danger or babies in danger.  I had yet again take anther pill for 10 days to get rid of the follicles.  I was very disappointed and felt we were back to square one.   I went to see Dr Jarrett with tears in my eyes, and listened to the next plan of action. 

I was once again waiting.  Thinking again, how much time do I have.  How long is this going to take.  Praying to God for patience.  Wondering if it will ever happen.  Wondering if I can handle yet another person announcing her pregnancy, looking at another baby shower invitation and wondering if it will ever be me?