Reader Disgretion is advised :)
At a very young age I've learned that life wasnt fair. I've learned that bad things happen to good people no matter how hard they pray or believe. I've learned that there are things that happen in life and we will never know why.
July marks our 5th YEAR of trying to pregnant. 5 years!! Lord, what have I done, what havent I done, I just dont understand?! Get me off this emotional roller coaster! I have put on a brave face, an "I'm ok" face for so long, but I cant wear it for much longer. This isnt ok, I am not ok. Every month that goes by, is another month lost. WHY!!!!???? I appologize to Brett that I'm not able to give him children. I'm not able to give our parents Grandchildren. As I watch friends and family get married, I cant help but think, whos going to get pregnant first, them or me? Lord, will it ever be my turn?
I am currently on a rest cycle. We will be taking a break this cycle. No meds, no Hope to be lost. We will wait till the end of July, or the next cycle to see what Dr Jarrett has in store for us. For now, I will be pulling myself together and getting ready for next month. I will be trying to get Hope and positivity back in my life.
Oh Megan, I am so sorry. I cannot imagine the ache and the loneliness this must bring. Please know you often come to mind and are continually in my prayers (also, if you ever need another Indiana place to crash we are in Marion).
ReplyDeleteI've learned that God listens to all prayers but doesn't always give us the answer we want or think is right. He has a bigger plan for you...have faith in that. I will continue to keep you in our thoughts. Keep the faith!!!!
ReplyDeleteMegan and Brett, it took us 5 years of trying too, and finally going the fertility specialist route. Four failed IUI trys, and finally success on our first IVF attempt. Actually, double success when we found out it was twins, a boy and girl, but if you keep up with our blog or FB we lost our precious little Landon at 34 weeks, so we got Addison out the following day. Next week she will all ready be one years old! God does have a plan for all of us, we may not like it or understand it at the time, but eventually prayers will be answered and miracles will happen! I will add your blog to our follow list and keep you guys in our prayers! Take care!
ReplyDeleteThis is Tim's wife... he left out 4 IUI's, then surgery for Amanda, another IUI, then IVF. We watched so many get pregnant and have babies before us and were thrilled that our patience was rewarded with the blessing of twins. But unexpectedly, our little guy was taken back. We thought we were done with the sad times but felt beaten down again. Stay strong and don't give up!! Everything we went through.... we have been able to help and encourage others. You too will have an amazing story to share! Prayers!
ReplyDeleteWow... 5 years. We are at two years of trying and I think about you often. Your faith, strength, perseverance, and hope are inspiring as well as your courage to publicly share your journey. I can't imagine what you must be feeling after 5 years, but I will continue to pray that God will be with you guys and show you his plan in all of this.
ReplyDeletePS - if you ever want to meet up when you are in Chicago area, or even if you wanted to meet halfway between, I would love to catch up!